I am in a strange mix of emotions today. Don’t know if I should be happy or worried that my son ( I doubt if I should still call him my little one) is growing up. And that too very fast.
My son goes to his school in a school van with a bunch of his L.K.G buddies when one day a boy bit my son on his face. It formed a deep bruise on his forehead that took almost a fortnight to heal. All those days I was worried if I should get a Tetanus done , I shouldn’t have let him travel by a van to school, should drop him myself . I also asked the driver what was he doing when a kid was hurting my child and also complained to that boy’s father.
I also taught my son how to defend himself. (Yell, push, complain to an elder).
Now, after all these days, I saw some boot marks on his legs and on enquiring, it was that same kid and he kicked him this time. Outraged, I asked him why didn’t he tell me before. He plainly said “Amma, he is my ‘Friend’. He doesn’t hit me daily, only at times”. I tried explaining it to him that a friend never hits but in vain. He asked me not to complain to his parents and that he actually likes that kid.
Unbelievable, he prefers to protect that kid who hurts him. And he chooses to hide it from me. I don’t know if I should be happy that he is trying to handle it himself. Or worried that he is not willing to share his little problems with me.
Had I handled the incident subtly the first time, maybe my son would have trusted and shared his woes with me!!!
Absolutely clueless!!! Hope I didn’t overdo it… I dont want to be over protective but I do want him to be safe…
Dear Mommies, Please be very careful while playing with your little ones. Just a casual jerk or pull might harm him. It is very common for the parents to hold the arms of the child on either side and walk. Sometimes the child refuses to walk and parents just drag them not realising that it might hurt them. The ball like structure of the shoulder joint might get dislocated from its socket joint. It is not a very common thing happening with kids. But,yes, it does happen. And if that happens when he is this young, he is bound to go through shoulder dislocation many times as he grows older. So please be very careful mommies. And if you really need to drag him, do it by holding his shoulder so that there is enough support at the joint. Cheers!!!
Recently read this article on Indra Nooyi where she expressed the most common feeling every mother has- the feeling of guilt!!!! I don’t think anyone (any mom )is an exception to it. Whether working or stay at home, guilt in some form or the other continues to plague our minds. I have been staying at home and looking after my li’l one right from the day he entered this world. Most of the time just being there when he plays with his set of blocks or giving him a glass or spoon which his tiny hands are unable to reach or other such simple tasks are the activities which I keep doing for a major part of the day. I, at times, feel guilty for not doing anything productive when compared to working mothers who utilise their time very well to bond with their child as well as take care of the house. I have also observed that children with both working parents and those who spend their day in a day care are more independent than kids who have mothers or grandparents at home all day. So when my little one asks me to take off his shoes or asks me to search for his toy, I feel guilty for making him dependent on me for such minor things too. I try hard, really hard to get him do his own work, but most of the times he revolts saying he wants me to do it and after a few more attempts I give in too 😦
A few days ago, when I met a friend of mine ( she is working and has a son about the same age as my li’l one), I was very surprised to hear that she also feels guilty but for different reason. Guilty of not being able to spend enough time with her son, guilty of not being there when he wants mom by his side. Guilty that her son doesn’t really want her and he is okay with anyone helping him or feeding him or picking him up from his school.
This was like completely different from the scenario at my place. It was then I realised maybe mothers are never satisfied with the efforts they put in 24*7!!!! They just want to do something more , a little extra for their little ones and in this struggle constantly end up feeling guilty for having left something behind.
I will try and overcome this feeling as every child would learn everything he needs to learn to survive sooner or later. We as mothers need to just wait and watch.