Recently read this article on Indra Nooyi where she expressed the most common feeling every mother has- the feeling of guilt!!!! I don’t think anyone (any mom )is an exception to it. Whether working or stay at home, guilt in some form or the other continues to plague our minds. I have been staying at home and looking after my li’l one right from the day he entered this world. Most of the time just being there when he plays with his set of blocks or giving him a glass or spoon which his tiny hands are unable to reach or other such simple tasks are the activities which I keep doing for a major part of the day. I, at times, feel guilty for not doing anything productive when compared to working mothers who utilise their time very well to bond with their child as well as take care of the house. I have also observed that children with both working parents and those who spend their day in a day care are more independent than kids who have mothers or grandparents at home all day. So when my little one asks me to take off his shoes or asks me to search for his toy, I feel guilty for making him dependent on me for such minor things too. I try hard, really hard to get him do his own work, but most of the times he revolts saying he wants me to do it and after a few more attempts I give in too 😦
A few days ago, when I met a friend of mine ( she is working and has a son about the same age as my li’l one), I was very surprised to hear that she also feels guilty but for different reason. Guilty of not being able to spend enough time with her son, guilty of not being there when he wants mom by his side. Guilty that her son doesn’t really want her and he is okay with anyone helping him or feeding him or picking him up from his school.
This was like completely different from the scenario at my place. It was then I realised maybe mothers are never satisfied with the efforts they put in 24*7!!!! They just want to do something more , a little extra for their little ones and in this struggle constantly end up feeling guilty for having left something behind.
I will try and overcome this feeling as every child would learn everything he needs to learn to survive sooner or later. We as mothers need to just wait and watch.